Musings of the Sundarman

Feel the Fear...And Do It Anyway

FEAR is an emotional response to threat or danger, and is an excellent survival mechanism. But we also sometimes may feel anxious ( ANXIETY occurs without any external threat or danger).

Where does anxiety actually get GENERATED in the BRAIN? Anxiety "happens" in a couple of ALMOND-SHAPED structures in the brain called the AMYGDALAE(sing. amygdala). That is not the most interesting point about fear and anxiety. Here's the kicker: the AMYGDALAE are also the creators and storage areas of MEMORIES ASSOCIATED with all DEEPLY EMOTIONAL EVENTS.

Have you ever FROZEN (become immobile) in a movie theater when watching a HORROR MOVIE? That was your amygdalae at work.

Ever had your HEART BEAT FASTER than usual when expecting YOUR LOVED ONE at the airport? That's the amygdala too. (Married people: this is for single people who recently met each other, not for you ;) ).

How about BREATHING FASTER on a ROLLER-COASTER or massive STRESS-HORMONE release when about to deliver a PRESENTATION to your boss's boss? Guess who is the culprit?

The bummer is, the amygdalae are also involved in LONG-TERM MEMORY CONSOLIDATION. In other words, If you were EXTREMELY HAPPY, or extremely sad, or extremely anxious, during a particular event or while doing something new, it is likely that you will REMEMBER that event or action much better in the long-term.

This is great GIFT and a great CURSE for us humans at the same time!

Hold on, though! What if: Rather than being seen as an INDICATOR that you are REACHING your LIMITS, you saw anxiety as the GREEN LIGHT to keep going? After your idea is rejected 99 times, what if you BELIEVE that it WILL be accepted the 100th time?

If you aren't feeling any anxiety, you may NOT be GROWING. Guess what happens to the organism that stops growing?

One approach: DON'T DENY the anxiety, but take the step anyway. "A ship in a harbor is safe, but that's not what ships were built for", says my buddy Tony Robbins. Observe the physical symptoms of anxiety and accept it. Your body and mind are merely sounding a FALSE ALARM.


Here are a few key points on conditioning for FEARLESSNESS and for DESTROYING ANXIETY:

1. HANDLING ANXIETY: There are different types of fear, but one is the absolute monster: the simple, but seemingly all-powerful belief that you won't be able to handle something you've never done before.

What if we develop the attitude that we can handle anything that comes our way, bad or good? What if I conditioned myself to MEET abject FAILURE and massive SUCCESS with the same sense of evenness, and of CALM and continued action? I propose that ANXIETY is not a psychological problem, but one of mis-education: We need to RE-EDUCATE ourselves that ANXIETY is a NECESSARY part of GROWTH.

2. AFFIRMATION: Don't get bogged down in anxiety, instead, AFFIRM what IS. For example, when immobilized by anxiety, or feeling stress due to anxiety, you might repeatedly affirm, "I am a smart, happy, loyal person." Or, "If God be with me, who can be against me?" Or, "Every day, and in every way, I am feeling stronger and wiser." Affirmations have helped me handle many fearful moments in my own life.

3. REPETITION: DO THAT which you feel anxious about, SO MANY TIMES, that your forebrain (frontal cortex of the brain), the seat of logic and reasoning, has no recourse but to accept that you no longer fear that event or taking that action. You may even laugh at your own initial anxiety about it!

One example in my own life is that of talking to strangers. Until I was in my late 20s, it was difficult for me to initiate conversations with strangers. I then made it a habit to speak to 10 people (anywhere, in the grocery store line, at the ballgame, at the gym, at work) every week. "APPROACH ANXIETY" is no longer a part of my emotional make-up -- all due to the power of repetition. As a wise master once told me, "Repetition is the Mother of Skill".

4. PRIMING THE PUMP OF POSITIVITY: Build a collection of vivid, 3-D, High Definition memories that you can recall on demand. This may sound weird, but try this experiment. Read the instructions entirely before you start, ok?

a. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Okay, now exhale! Do it again, and relax your whole body.
b. Now, go back to a moment in time in your life where you FELT UNSTOPPABLE, where everything you did was EFFORTLESS, and you received massive affirmation from others for EXECUTING nearly FLAWLESSLY. It could be winning the sack race in school at 6, or getting that much deserved promotion, or making your first million $$. Or it could be overcoming an anxiety and going for it!
c. REMEMBER what you were WEARING, how you HELD your BODY, the emotions that washed over you, and the looks on everyone's faces as they congratulated you, what you said.
d. Now, make the image even BRIGHTER in contrast and color and see even more detail -- what others were wearing, how they held their bodies, the room or SURROUNDINGS, the sounds, textures, smells of the environment. Make the 'movie' 3-D and HD!
e. Now, practice recalling this 'MEMORY of POWER'!

If you have even 5 memories of success, joy, faith, victory or love, you can "play" these in your mind on demand when anxious. You are conditioning your mind to override the anxious signals from your favorite amygdala.

People who avoid anything they are anxious about, actually live in dread of something out of their control, destroying all they have. It is actually easier, and infinitely more life-fulfilling to tackle 'anxious' moments and to try new things!

So, feel the fear...and DO IT anyway!